Not Anymore
by Secret Girlfriend
Summary: Rachel takes a walk down memory lane. Puckleberry  kinda
1. Chapter 1

Rachel laughed as she walked down the halls with Molly, a new student at McKinley but an old friend. They'd known each other since the summer after sixth grade when they'd attended the same theatre camp. Every summer since then they'd gotten together.

"You're joining glee club right?" Rachel asked as they passed the choir room.

"Of course!" Molly smiled. "Your slushy stories don't scare me. Besides, someone needs to steal that overly bright spotlight form you."

Both laughing, Molly paused and gave a small smirk. Flipping back her brown hair she gave a dazzling smile to a passing guy in a letter jacket. The mow hawked singer gave his usual sexy smirk back.

Rachel stared at her friend as she kept watching the half jock, half performer. Glancing back at Rachel she asked, "Do you know him?"

Rachel's eyes darted back to Noah, no, Puck as he walked towards his locker where Lauren was waiting. She knew Noah, not Puck. Not the person standing there, acting as if he'd always been the athletic, insensitive sex god everyone knew.

Rachel knew better.

A six year old Rachel raced ahead of her fathers. A boy her age with a closely shaved head was running at her. Meeting in between their parents Noah grabbed Rachel around the waist and brought her to the ground. Fighting back Rachel managed to flip herself on top to pin Noah down.

Before he could do anything Noah's mom had picked Rachel up who was grinning and laughing. Her dad had also picked up her friend and put him back on his feet. "I won this time!" Rachel gloated.

"I would've won if I had been given two more seconds to flip you back under!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Yeah-ha!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Yeah-ha!"

Libby laughed. "You two fight like an old married couple."

The two kids looked up at Noah's mom, both with faces of disgust. "Ewww!" they yelled in unison.

"You're both to young to see it," Rachel's dad Elton agreed.

"Ewww!" they both screamed again.

Laughing the parents walked their kids into the temple. "Noah, where's your dad?" Rachel asked.

"He was still sleeping when we left." He shrugged. "We couldn't wake him up." Unnoticed by the two friends, Libby gave a scared glance at Elton and his husband John.

Nine year old Noah stared, amazed at what his mom was holding. His little sister.

"Would you like to hold Sara, Noah?"

He nodded quickly as he climbed into the hospital bed with Rachel. Both holding the tiny girl they giggled as she reached up her tiny hand to touch Noah's face.

"Look," Rachel cooed, "she already loves you."

Noah looked at the baby with a loving look. "I'm going to be the best big brother ever."

"I bet you will." Rachel smiled at her best friend. "Noah, what's that on your arm?"

Noah's spell was broken. "A bruise," he said simply.

"Where'd you get it?"

He faltered. "I ran into a door."

"It looks to big to be from a door."

"Well, it was a big door."

"Oh." The smile was back on Rachel's face. "Okay."

Libby took Sara from them, squeezing Noah's hand.

Libby came crashing through the Berry's front door a few months later. Carrying a little bundle that was Sara, she was crying and out of breath. Noah was close behind her. Both had some bruises and Libby's nose was bleeding.

"Noah!" Rachel screamed as she ran towards the door. "What's wrong?"

"Rachel sweetie," Libby crouched down to look Rachel in the eye, "where are your fathers?"

"Only John is home."

"Go get him for me."

Hearing the urgency in her voices cared Rachel as she ran into her father's study. Running back out John saw Libby and her bleeding nose and unusually silent Noah and nodded. He quickly grabbed his phone and dialed. "I need an officer. My friend has been put into a domestic violence situation."

"He's following us John. He can't be far behind."

"The father's coming for them! Please hurry!"

Hanging up the phone John grabbed Sara out of Libby's arms. Rachel didn't understand what was going on. Noah locked both the front and back door and both kids followed their parents upstairs.

Locking the door behind them Libby collapsed crying. Noah still hadn't said anything. All he had was a look of shock on his face. Rachel asked again, "What's going on?"

John picked Rachel up and put her in his lap. "You've noticed the bruises on Noah, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, Mr. Puckermen has been hitting both Noah and Libby. He's been getting drunk and not doing his job as a father or a husband."

Rachel stared in shock at her best friend. Running over she gave him a big hug. "Are you guys okay?"

Libby let out a loud sob.

"Libby, what actually happened this time?"

Trying to speak through her sobs, Libby finally managed to tell the story. "Noah and I were putting Sara to bed. He… he burst through the door. He came strait for Noah this time. I stepped in front of him and he hit me twice. But Noah had grabbed a lamp and hit him in the gut. I grabbed Sara and we ran. We were about half way here when he finally made it out of the house. I don't know how long it will take him to find us."

Just then there was a crash of breaking glass and then a whirl of a police siren. John looked out the window and saw an officer wrestling a man to the ground.

There was a knock on the door downstairs and John helped Libby up and brought her out of the room. "This is almost over," he kept whispering.

Rachel followed with Noah. "That was really brave, what you did to protect your mom and sister." Still in shock Noah just nodded his head, but his eyes grew wide when Rachel gave him a kiss on the cheek. "It's all going to get better."

A small smile came across his face.

Noah took a deep breath. How had Rachel convinced him to do this? He didn't sing in front of people, especially the entire eighth grade class.

He glanced over at the other side of the stage. Rachel gave him a thumbs up and a reassuring smile. Damn that smile.

Rachel was excited. She and Noah would be amazing. Noah had an amazing voice.

Stepping on stage Rachel took a microphone from the principal. Seeing the crowd made her heart beat pick up. This. Was. Awesome.

The back up CD started.

_Where is the moment we needed the most  
>You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost<br>They tell me your blue skies fade to gray  
>They tell me your passion's gone away<br>And I don't need no carryin' on_

_You stand in the line just to hit a new low  
>You're faking a smile with the coffee you go<br>You tell me your life's been way off line  
>You're falling to pieces every time<br>And I don't need no carryin' on_

_Because you had a bad day  
>You're taking one down<br>You sing a sad song just to turn it around  
>You say you don't know<br>You tell me don't lie  
>You work at a smile and you go for a ride<br>You had a bad day  
>The camera don't lie<br>You're coming back down and you really don't mind  
>You had a bad day<br>You had a bad day_

_Will you need a blue sky holiday?  
>The point is they laugh at what you say<br>And I don't need no carryin' on_

_You had a bad day  
>You're taking one down<br>You sing a sad song just to turn it around  
>You say you don't know<br>You tell me don't lie  
>You work at a smile and you go for a ride<br>You had a bad day  
>The camera don't lie<br>You're coming back down and you really don't mind  
>You had a bad day<em>

_Sometimes the system goes on the blink  
>And the whole thing turns out wrong<br>You might not make it back and you know  
>That you could be well oh that strong<br>And I'm not wrong_

_So where is the passion when you need it the most  
>Oh you and I<br>You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost_

_Cause you had a bad day  
>You're taking one down<br>You sing a sad song just to turn it around  
>You say you don't know<br>You tell me don't lie  
>You work at a smile and you go for a ride<br>You had a bad day  
>You've seen what you like<br>And how does it feel for one more time  
>You had a bad day<em>

His voice was amazing. Rachel was lost on Noah's eyes while they sang the last _You had a bad day _together. She had actually wanted to do "What's Left of Me" but Noah had said it was too sappy for him. He was so... strong.

It wasn't the roaring applause that had been in Rachel's head but it was a good feeling. Walking off stage she almost jumped Noah in a hug. "That went amazing!"

"Good," he said with a laugh. "If it hadn't I wouldn't have heard the end of it."

She laughed quietly as the girl Mercedes started singing. Walking out the back stage door Rachel started walking towards the auditorium doors but Noah wasn't moving. "Rach, I need to say something."

Her heart stopped. No. Way.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"We've been friends forever right?"

"Yeah."

"And we can tell each anything right?"

"Totally."

"I like you Rach."

_Yes yes yes yes yes! _She smiled. "I like you to Noah."

He smirked. "Of course you do."

She rolled her eyes but laughed. Stepping forward Noah kissed Rachel for only a second.

Perfect.

Nothing more than that ever happened. Rachel was busy with dance and vocal lessons and Noah was getting into his sports. Coming back to school in ninth grade Rachel saw the back of Noah's head which was now distinguishable by the mowhawk he'd grown out this summer.

Suddenly she saw him lift up a small body. He tossed it into the dumpster in front of him.

"Noah!" She ran towards the dumpster where a few other boys were laughing. She recognized Finn Hudson from the couple of times she'd hung out with him and Noah that summer. She didn't know the other two. "Why did you guys do that?"

Noah glanced into the dumpster. "Have you seen what that kid is wearing? It's gay! He deserved it!"

Looking in with Noah Rachel saw Kurt Hummel lying on top of the garbage. Reaching out a hand she helped him stand up and climb out of the dumpster. He glanced around at the boys in fear and then ran away.

"You should all be ashamed of yourselves!" she screamed at the four boys. "You probably just scarred him for life!"

Noah and Finn looked a little guilty but the other two boys just laughed harder. "You probably juft feel bad for him because your dads are gay to!"

"Shut up Karofsky!" Noah snapped.

"Oh, defending your girlfriend?" Karofsky sneered.

"She's not my girlfriend! I don't even like her that way!" Noah yelled back.

Hurt showed in Rachel's face, which turned to fury which was about to turn into tears. Then she did her first storm off.

A couple days later Rachel opened up her locker to get her books. In her mirror she saw an apologetic looking Noah standing behind her. She was still mad at him though so she just slammed her locker shut and started walking away.

"Come on Rach! Wait up!" Noah ran up next to her. "I feel really bad!"

"I'm sure you do," Rachel snapped and kept walking.

"Rach!" Noah yelled after her and was about to follow her but he tripped. The grape slushy he had gotten for her slipped out of his hand, splattering Rachel all across her back.

Dripping in the flavored ice she turned on Noah, livid. "I will NEVER forgive you for this!"

Tears starting to form behind her eyes she ran into the bathroom, head in her hands.

Still on the floor, Noah slowly got up. Karofsky came over, still laughing. "Nice one Puck!"

Accepting the high five, Puck smirked. "Thanks man."

Puck sat on the bleachers, staring at Quinn. His baby momma. Finn's girlfriend. Man this sucked.

He heard soft footsteps behind him. _No. Not now._

He didn't really listen to Rachel as she talked. She was just annoying now. Her perfect grammar. Her super long sentences where she didn't ever breathe.

"I just don't think we'll work out Noah. I hope we can still be friends though."

He felt her hand on his shoulder. She was so soft.

Bu then his eyes snapped to Quinn who was staring at the two of them. "We never were friends." He quickly jumped up and left. There was still a warm spot on his shoulder though.

That hurt. Rachel sat there shocked. So, all those years had meant nothing to him. Well, it was time to start acting like they meant nothing to her. She'd forgiven him this time for the slushy. Never again.

It was time to forget Noah. Time to start seeing him as Puck.

Rachel watched disgusted as Noa- Puck- played that stupid song to Lauren. Lauren? This was so gross. But she couldn't let it show.

She started dancing in her seat like Mercedes, but wanted more than anything to look like Santana right now. This sucked. What was even worse was that it looked like this was working. Gross.

The next day at glee Puck and Lauren came in about ten minutes late. Lauren's hair was sticking up in a few places. More gross.

Mr. Schue ignored it and kept talking. The two went to sit in the back row and Lauren put her legs across Pucks lap.

Vomit inducing.

"Rachel!" Molly nearly shouted in her ear. "Rachel! Come back to me chica!"

Rachel snapped out of her memories. It was like her entire life had flashed before her eyes. "Sorry! What were you saying?"

Molly rolled her eyes but continued. "I asked if you knew that guy with the mowhawk."

Rachel glanced up again and saw Puck slap Santana's ass and then pin Lauren against the lockers. She almost cried. "Not anymore."


	2. Chapter 2

**Yes, i know I haven't updated this since the original oneshot but I'm taking loveaddict08's advice (finally) and doing some follow ups on this. I have it semi planned out, but the chapters will come slowly. This chapter is Puck's view through chapter one, so it's basically parallel to it. Enjoy, review!**

* * *

><p><em>Yes, yes I am amazing.<em>

Puck strolled down the hall, shoulders back, head high, confident. Not that that was any different than usual. He saw Zisces ahead already waiting at his locker.

But who should be walking in his direction. Berry of course. He couldn't look her full in the face without remembering. He tried to focus on her friend that he didn't recognize. He gave her his signature smirk and kept on walking.

Puck turned back around to check out the new girl's ass, but he caught Rachel staring back at him, only for a second. It was all it took though for his mind to be thrust into the past.

Everyone thought Berry had always been this up tight bossy chick in short skirts. And it was true, she had always been in those short skirts. But the uptight part, it hadn't always been this bad.

He knew better.

Noah raced ahead of his mom, running at full speed at the little girl speeding ahead of her fathers. He had a winning streak going and there was no way he was going to let Rachel ruin that.

He stumbled though on something and flew forward. He managed to grab Rachel around the waste, his grip wasn't tight enough though. In a matter of seconds Rachel was able to release herself from his grasp and flip him over so she was on top.

Before he could do anything about it though his mom had plucked Rachel up from on top of him and one of Rachel's dads had picked him up off the ground.

"I won this time!" Rachel gloated as John put him back down.

"I would've won if I had been given two more seconds to flip you back under!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Yeah-ha!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Yeah-ha!"

Libby laughed. "You two fight like an old married couple."

Noah turned to Rachel and in unison they both yelled, "Ewww!"

All three parents laughed as Elton said, "You're both too young to see it."

They both yelled again. "Ewww!"

Still laughing the parents walked their kids to the temple. "Noah, where's your dad?" Rachel asked.

"He was still asleep when we left." He shrugged. "We couldn't wake him up." His dad had actually been doing that a lot lately. Noah would hear him stumble in late at night after he'd gone to bed and then he would still be asleep when he got home from school.

He didn't really care though. It hadn't been happening for too long and his mom said that his dad was just over stressed at work.

Unnoticed by both the kids though, Libby exchanged a nervous glance with Elton and John.

A nine year old Noah stared in wonder at what his mom was holding. In her arms she held his baby sister.

"Would you like to hold Sara, Noah?"

He nodded excitedly and he and Rachel both climbed up onto the hospital bed. Both holding the tiny girl, they giggled as she reached up a hand to touch Noah's face.

"Oh look," Rachel cooed, "she already loves you."

Noah stared at his baby sister, already feeling protective. "I'm going to be the best big brother ever." Not like his father had been lately.

"I bet you will be," Rachel said, unaware of Noah's current thoughts. "Noah, what's on your arm?"

"Just a bruise."

"Where'd you get it?"

He faltered for a moment. "I ran into a door."

"That's a really big bruise for a door."

"It was a big door."

Noah waited apprehensively as Rachel considered it. "Okay then."

She went back to playing with Sarah. Exchanging a glance with his mom, he took comfort when she squeezed his open hand.

There was a crash from the front door. Noah and his mom jumped and turned away from Sarah's crib and saw Mr. Puckermen towering in the frame. He was drunk that much was obvious.

He came at Noah, fist already pulled back but Libby stepped on front of him. "No, not again Eli. That's enough!"

Noah watched his dad pull his arm back again and then release the energy behind it, hitting his mom in the nose. Noah knew it would be broken this time. He couldn't watch this. His dad had done this for the last time.

In his fury Noah picked up the lap sitting on the table next to him and smashed it against his dad's stomach. Out of the corner if his eye he saw his mom grab Sarah out of the crib followed her as she ran out the front door.

Looking back his dad was still on the floor, coughing and spluttering incoherent words. He didn't know how long they had.

He ran ahead of his mother down the street to Rachel's house. His mom had told him a few months ago that her dads knew what was going on and if they ever had to run to go there. And now, he ran there as if his life depended on it.

When his mom knocked on the door Rachel opened it up. He saw her eyes grow wide as she took in his others nose and his bruises and cuts. "Rachel sweetie, where are your dads?"

"John is up in his office." Noah registered the fear and confusion in her voice.

Rachel bolted and came back quickly with her dad. His mom nodded at him and John quickly dialed the police.

"He's probably following us John."

"Hurry!" he screamed into the phone. He picked up Rachel and Libby and Noah followed them upstairs.

"Daddy, what's going on?"

"Honey, you've noticed the bruises on Noah lately, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, Mr. Puckermen did that. He hasn't been doing his job as a father or a husband very well lately."

Libby let out a sob and John went to her. "Libby, tell me what happened this time."

Noah shut his ears off. He didn't want to remember any of this. Tuning out his mother he scooted closer to Rachel resting his head on her shoulder to lean on something. He was so tired.

He jumped when there was a sound of breaking glass from downstairs and the noise of a siren. Libby and John got up and went out the door. "It's almost over," he whispered quietly.

Rachel followed Noah out of the room. "That was very braved Noah." She gave him a small kiss on the cheek. He felt an odd tingling sensation. Weird.

"It'll all get better." And somehow, he managed to smile.

Noah took a deep breath. How had Rachel convinced him to do this? He didn't sing in front of people, especially the entire eighth grade class.

He glanced over at the other side of the stage. Rachel gave him a thumbs up and a reassuring smile. Damn that smile.

He walked out on stage when Rachel did and heard the backup CD start up. Looking out he saw the sea of bored faces, but he still froze up. Never. Again.

_Where is the moment we needed the most  
>You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost<br>They tell me your blue skies fade to gray  
>They tell me your passion's gone away<br>And I don't need no carryin' on_

You stand in the line just to hit a new low  
>You're faking a smile with the coffee you go<br>You tell me your life's been way off line  
>You're falling to pieces every time<br>And I don't need no carryin' on

Because you had a bad day  
>You're taking one down<br>You sing a sad song just to turn it around  
>You say you don't know<br>You tell me don't lie  
>You work at a smile and you go for a ride<br>You had a bad day  
>The camera don't lie<br>You're coming back down and you really don't mind  
>You had a bad day<br>You had a bad day

_Sometimes the system goes on the blink  
>And the whole thing turns out wrong<br>You might not make it back and you know  
>That you could be well oh that strong<br>And I'm not wrong_

So where is the passion when you need it the most  
>Oh you and I<br>You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day  
>You're taking one down<br>You sing a sad song just to turn it around  
>You say you don't know<br>You tell me don't lie  
>You work at a smile and you go for a ride<br>You had a bad day  
>You've seen what you like<br>And how does it feel for one more time  
>You had a bad day<p>

Rachel's voice was amazing. Noah couldn't help but think that while they sang. He got caught up in her eyes when they sang the last _You had a bad day. _No, he wasn't that sissy. That's why they had done this song instead of "What's Left of Me." Yeah, it was still girly but it was slightly better. Plus, Rachel loved it.

When they finished there was a weak applause and he followed Rachel off stage. While that chick Mercedes started singing she jumped into his arms. "That was amazing!"

"Good," he laughed. "If it hadn't been I would've never heard the end of it.

She giggled and together they walked out the backstage door to go around to the main entrance of the auditorium. Something stopped Noah though. He had to get it off his chest. "Rach, can I tell you something?"

She paused outside of the auditorium door. "Yeah?"

"We've been friends forever right?"

"Yeah."

"And we can tell each anything right?"

"Totally."

"I like you Rach." There, finally.

He waited anxiously while Rachel took in what he had said. "I like you to Noah."

He smirked, relief filling his body. "Of course you do."

She rolled her eyes at him but laughed. Noah stepped forward and kissed, for one perfect second.

Hell yes.

Nothing more than that ever happened though. Rachel got all crazy with the singing and dancing and Noah got into his sports. On the first day on ninth grade, Noah was out in the parking lot with Finn and Karofsky talking about some stuff that had happened during summer training.

Then that kid Kurt Hummel passed by, and suddenly Karofsky said, "Dude look at that kid. What's with him?"

Noah and Finn didn't say anything, but they knew what he was talking about. Kurt was always wearing these, weird, clothes that weren't normal for a dude.

"Guys, let's toss him." Karofsky got an evil look in his eyes.

"Toss him where?"

"Into the dumpster," he replied, as if it was obvious. The next thing Noah knew was he was helping Karofsky toss Kurt into a dumpster.

Standing back and laughing, all three boys suddenly heard a loud, "Noah!"

Looking back Rachel was running towards them. "Why did you guys do that?"

Noah glanced into the dumpster, but Karofsky cut in though. "Have you seen what that kid is wearing? It's gay! He deserved it!"

Looking into the dumpster with Noah Rachel saw Kurt Hummel lying on top of the garbage. Reaching out a hand she helped him stand up and climb out of the dumpster. He glanced around at the boys in fear and then ran away.

"You should all be ashamed of yourselves!" she screamed at the three boys. "You probably just scarred him for life!"

Noah and Finn looked a little guilty but Karofsky just laughed harder. "You probably just feel bad for him because your dads are gay to!"

"Shut up Karofsky!" Noah snapped. No one made fun of Rachel's parents.

"Oh, defending your girlfriend?" Karofsky sneered.

"She's not my girlfriend! I don't even like her that way!" Noah yelled back.

He knew before he was even done with the sentence he had said the wrong thing.

Hurt showed in Rachel's face, which turned to fury which was about to turn into tears. Then she did her first storm off.

A couple days later Noah saw Rachel open up her locker to get her books. He tried surprising with her favorite slushy, but she caught sight of him in her mirror. She was still mad at him though, it was obvious. So she just slammed her locker shut and started walking away.

"Come on Rach! Wait up!" Noah ran up next to her. "I feel really bad!" It was the truth.

"I'm sure you do," Rachel snapped and kept walking.

"Rach!" Noah yelled after her and was about to follow her but he tripped. The grape slushy he had gotten for her slipped out of his hand, splattering Rachel all across her back.

Dripping in the flavored ice she turned on Noah, livid. "I will NEVER forgive you for this!"

Tears started forming behind her eyes, so before he could even say anything to try to apologize she had run into the girls bathroom.

Still on the floor, Noah slowly got up. Karofsky came over, still laughing. "Nice one Puck!"

Accepting the high five, Puck outwardly smirked, but died a little inside. "Thanks man."

Puck sat on the bleachers, staring at Quinn. His baby momma. Finn's girlfriend. Man this sucked.

He heard soft footsteps behind him. _No. Not now._

He didn't really listen to Rachel as she talked. She was just annoying now. Her perfect grammar. Her super long sentences where she didn't ever breathe.

"I just don't think we'll work out Noah. I hope we can still be friends though."

He felt her hand on his shoulder. It was so soft, reminding him of all those years ago when she was his comfort.

But then his eyes snapped to Quinn who was staring at the two of them. "We never were friends." He quickly jumped up and left. There was still a warm spot on his shoulder though. And an empty spot in his heart.

_Are you gonna take me home tonight?__  
><em>_Oh, down beside that red firelight;__  
><em>_Are you gonna let it all hang out?__  
><em>_Fat bottomed girls,__  
><em>_You make the rockin' world go round._

_Hey__  
><em>_I was just a skinny lad__  
><em>_Never knew no good from bad,__  
><em>_But I knew life before I left my nursery,__  
><em>_Left alone with big fat Fanny,__  
><em>_She was such a naughty nanny!__  
><em>_Hey big woman you made a bad boy out of me!__  
><em>_Hey hey!_

_I've been singing with my band__  
><em>_Across the water, across the land,__  
><em>_I seen ev'ry blue eyed floozy on the way, hey__  
><em>_But their beauty and their style__  
><em>_Went kind of smooth after a while.__  
><em>_Take me to them lardy ladies every time!_

This was so working. Zisces would be putty in his hand tonight.

Puck ignored Santana's revolted face. He hadn't really expected her to enjoy this. He did stumble a little bit though when he caught site of Rachel. Was she, dancing? He'd half expected her to look like Santana.

He realized he was a beat behind and put his head back in the song. It didn't matter, she wanted Finn, and he wanted Zisces.

"Puckermen!" Zisces shouted his name down the hall. It had flashed in front of his eyes in matter of seconds. "You better not be checking out her ass!"

"Not a chance." He did though give Santana a playful smack just to see her get mad.

Yeah, Puck was awesome. _But what about Noah?_

Well, not anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Reminder- Molly is the friend from chapter one that transfers to McKinley. I thought I'd remind you since I posted that chapter four months ago. And happy New Year! Enjoy and review!**

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><p>Tossing her cap up with the rest of the 2012 class, Rachel cheered. She cheered, not because she was glad she was done with high school, but that she was leaving McKinley for something <em>way <em>better. Julliard was just two months away.

Scooting down her row when she saw Mr. Schue's cue she lead New Directions up to the stage. One last performance with everyone. One last chance for the school to hate them, even though they'd won Nationals this year. One last chance for them to prove them wrong.

_Give me a second I _  
><em>I need to get my story straight <em>  
><em>My friends are in the bathroom <em>  
><em>Getting higher than the Empire State <em>  
><em>My lover she's waiting for me <em>  
><em>Just across the bar <em>  
><em>My seats been taken by some sunglasses <em>  
><em>Asking 'bout a scar <em>

This time Puck took Finn's solo. He had willingly handed it over when Puck won Nationals for them with his solo on David Cook's _Come Back to Me. _Rachel had to admit it had been a compelling performance. Puck's emotions had been so real.

* * *

><p><em>And I know I gave it to you months ago<br>I know you're trying to forget  
>But between the drinks and subtle things<br>The holes in my apologies  
>You know I'm trying hard to take it back <em>

Puck had jumped at this solo. If not to do one last awesome performance, but to have Rachel look at him and say _my lover_.

He didn't know when it had all fallen back into place for him. It might've started when he first heard Rachel call him Puck, or when Zisces dropped him and glee. Maybe it was when her friend Molly dumped him after only a month this year because he kept asking about Rachel. He didn't remember doing it but apparently he had done it a lot.

He knew his emotions had won when Molly told him Finn and Rachel had ended it, this time on good terms. Finn was staying in Lima and Rachel was heading to New York. It was time for them to move on, and Puck's time to move in.

No one else knew but Puck was heading to NYU next fall. He was heading out with Rachel, whether she liked it or not.

* * *

><p>The gym was empty now, and Rachel stood alone on the edge of the stage. The graduates had cheered for them, loudly. She still didn't know if it was because they actually thought they were good or because they were just happy to be out of there.<p>

She couldn't blame them. McKinley had been a living hell. Not just occasionally, but from day one it had been a disaster. It always felt like she could never catch a break here.

"Good riddance McKinley." Her voice echoed around the empty gym. She jumped when a voice answered it.

"And hello New York, right?"

Whipping around Puck was at the back of the stage, already out of his cap and gown. Something happened in Rachel's stomach that she couldn't explain.

"Right, the place where dreams come true."

"And stars are born."

"And the city never sleeps."

"And friendships repaired."

Puck saw her face form confusion. "I've never heard that one."

"You wouldn't. I just made it up."

"And how long have you been working on that line?" Satisfied when he didn't respond she turned back to all the empty chairs. She was drained though and sat down, discarding her own cap and gown.

Puck came to the front of that stage and sat next to her. Rachel could feel him next to her but wouldn't look at him. According to him they had never been friends, so what friendship was there to repair?

But she could also feel what he was probably feeling. Regret. Pain. Nostalgia, as their story flooded her mind again. They had been a good team until McKinley had stepped in.

She had promised herself though that she wouldn't let him back in. She only ever allowed herself these short periods of remembering. This was when she was supposed to shake it off and walk away. She couldn't pick herself up this time though.

"I am sorry Rachel, for everything. For Kurt in ninth grade, for slushy after slushy. For basically denying everything that ever happened between us. I'm sorry."

* * *

><p>Puck let out a sigh of relief. Rachel was right. He had been planning those lines for ages. But they were true, they were real, and from the freaking bottom of his heart.<p>

He held his breath as he waited for Rachel to respond. It had been so long he had no idea what was going on behind those big brown eyes.

"I guess I should apologize to. I didn't really give you a chance to apologize in ninth grade. You were still an idiot on the bleachers though."

"I know." He didn't know what else to say other than, "You're right." That usually worked for Rachel.

He saw her smile a little but could tell she was still thinking something. "What else is there?"

"I don't want to let myself to do this Puck. I-"

"Don't call me that!" Puck jumped up covering his ears. "Don't call me Puck!"

Turning back he saw her shocked expression but that didn't stop him. "I don't want to be Puck anymore, especially not to you!"

She jumped up quickly. "What do you expect from me? You abandoned me through all of high school! Do you honestly think I could look at you and think of you as my Noah?"

"You can try! Rachel, if you could just look at me and call me Noah, I would have just a little hope that I could turn myself around. I want to start over Rachel, and I want to start over with you."

Rachel paused in the pacing she had started out of frustration. "I don't know what you're asking me."

"I want you to give me the chance we wanted to take before freshmen year."

* * *

><p>Rachel had seen it coming the second Puck had showed up but wasn't ready to hear it. She didn't want to hear it. She had been doing so well at pushing these emotions away for four years and he was breaking her.<p>

"Even if I thought we could do that Puck-"

"Noah."

She sighed, giving in to his one command. "Noah, even if I thought we could do that, how do you expect to stay together when I'm in New York?" She grasped for the one thing that could stop this.

"When we're in New York. Rachel, I'm going to NYU next fall. We wouldn't be far away. We could be together. We could do this." He was grasping for his last hope.

"But could I trust you, Noah? Two different schools, lots of pretty girls wandering around campus…"

Rachel felt her heart sink when he didn't say anything, but what did she expect? Him to suddenly be her Noah? The Noah she had grown up with and could trust with her life? "See! How can you expect me to take this risk if you can't even promise me this?"

"What do you want me to say Rachel? Do you really want me to promise you something that we both know might only end up hurting us later?"

"It wouldn't hurt us! If you were my Noah again, you would be able to tell me that I can trust you! My Noah would be able to promise me this with no hesitations."

"Then what do I do Rach? What do I tell people when they see your name in lights? Do I pretend I never knew you?"

He made her stop again. He had faith in her, but none in himself? "You can say we grew up together, that we're friends. And I'll do the same if some girls show up after a party talking about the amazing guy they met that goes to NYU."

* * *

><p>Amazing? Yeah, she had said that. But everything else she was saying lead him to be believe something else. "I guess I'll see you around then." He turned to leave when her soft voice pulled him back.<p>

"I'm so sorry Noah," regret dripping through her voice.

Noah. She had said it, and just like that the fire ignited in his chest. He had hope again. Taking three large strides back to Rachel he pulled her into a long kiss. Bodies molding together and lips moving as one he enjoyed every second of it, because he didn't know when she would finally push him away.

When he felt her pull away he kept his eyes shut for a second, savoring it. He might have to for a long time. "I'm not giving up Rach, just remember that." Before she could say anything he left the gym.

Outside Sam was waiting by Puck's truck. When he caught sight of him he gave a hopeful thumbs up, but dropped his hands when he saw Puck's face. It wasn't the face of success. It was the face of determination. "So what's the plan from here?"

Puck slid into the driver's seat and clenched the wheel, feeling the disappointment and frustration from what had just happened. "I don't know, but this isn't where it ends."

Sam let the subject drop as they drove to Finn's. He just needed to cool off right now. If anyone pissed him off right now he would probably do something he'd regret.

Finn was on the phone when they entered the house but he quickly hung up. "Who was that?"

"Molly." He locked eyes with Puck.

"And why were you talking to Molly?"

"She's worried about Rachel."

Sam didn't need to look at Puck to know the name alone would get him steaming. "And why is she worried about Rachel?" Puck asked through gritted teeth. Why worry about Rachel? She had gotten what she wanted.

"Puck, come on. Tell us what you did."

"I told her how I fucking feel!" he exploded. "You know, opened up, something I thought girls liked! But no, that wasn't good enough for Rachel!"

"Dude, since when has simple been good enough for Rachel?" Finn said, trying to be the voice of reason. "It's Rachel. You need to prove yourself."

"And how can I do that?"

"You're heading to New York dude. I think you'll have plenty of options once you get there," Sam said.

"So I have to sit around and wait all summer to try and get her back?"

"It's what's best dude. Molly says she's pretty emotional after whatever you did. The best you can do is lay low right now. If you try again to soon you could scare her away."

Finally taking some deep breaths Puck looked up at his friend. "Why are you being so cool about this dude? You should be pissed I want to move in on her."

Finn laughed. "Because Rachel and I are done. We cooled off and ended it. I think she moved on before we even broke up. And Puck, if I know Rachel, she moved on to you. She's just scared. Give her time to adjust in New York. I think you two will be fine."

The hope grew in Puck. If Finn, who was pretty stupid sometimes but knew Rachel better than he wished, thought Rachel would eventually come around, maybe there was a chance.

* * *

><p>Rachel stood where Puck had left her, fingers touching her lips. She couldn't move, couldn't think, just feel the spot that was still warm from Puck's lip. Tears would eventually come, but right she would only savor. She was afraid that it might be the last.<p>

She didn't flinch when she heard Molly's phone snap shut but willingly entered the hug she offered. Finally letting the tears fall she shook her head. Why hadn't she taken the chance? Why hadn't she taken what she taken her Noah's hand and pulled him back?

Molly lead her off the stage and to the car. She didn't make Rachel say anything until she hauled her up to her room and made her sit. Letting out a few last sobs Rachel finally looked up at her friend. "What just happened?"

"Puck told you he wanted you back and you told him you couldn't trust him. Then he kissed you and said he wouldn't give up."

Rachel let out another sob and shook her head. "Why did I let him walk away? You know of all people that this was my dream, my happy ending. Why didn't I take it?"

"Because you're a smart person Rach, and smart people know it isn't this easy and smart people don't settle for anything below their expectations. You didn't think you could trust him and you were smart enough not to be okay with that."

"No I wasn't!" Rachel screamed. "What if that was my only chance? What if I never see him again?"

"Weren't you listening? He's not giving up Rachel. Puck may act like a ten year old sometimes but if you'd seen the look on his face when he left the gym, you wouldn't be worried."

When Rachel still didn't perk up she went on, "And honey, we're all going to be in New York next fall. If nothing happens there, the most magical place on earth, where dreams come true, it isn't meant to be."

"And it is meant to be! I know it!" Desperation rang through Rachel's voice.

"Then stop worrying."

She knew Molly was right, but worry was second nature to Rachel. Right now, her Noah was somewhere, and she didn't know if he would turn into Puck tomorrow morning.

Yesterday she was certain what would happen with her life. Julliard, Broadway, happy ending.

Well, not anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

Laughter rang through the Julliard halls as Rachel frantically searched for Molly. She only had a few minutes before dance and had to make sure they still had plans for tonight, half hoping they didn't. They had three days until finals week and they both had major rehearsing to do.

Rounding the corner she saw Molly's long brown hair swoosh into the dance studio. Running to catch up Rachel plopped her bag on the ground and hopped onto Molly's back. "I turn around for three seconds and you disappear."

"I'm sorry but since you had just been badgering me about working on our duet I decided it might be a good idea to get to class."

"Don't twist my words and make this sound like my fault."

"Oh but it is." Molly dropped Rachel off her back on plopped down next to her, stretching out her legs. "So about tonight's party-"

"I don't think we should go," Rachel reiterated. She'd been saying it all week as their instructors reminded them about finals and how grueling they would be, especially for freshmen. They called them weeder finals, to see who had actually learned something this semester.

"And I say you need to go," Molly quickly responded. "Rachel honey, if you could see the frown lines forming on your forehead you would agree with me. You haven't gone out in two months because that's how long you've been freaking out about next week. It's also how long it's been since you ended it with Ben I might add."

Rachel blushed furiously. "You know he's not the reason I've been stressing for two months."

"I know, because you've been stressing for years. Just come tonight and let loose for a while. I promise we'll run the duet once after school and then you're not allowed to talk about finals for twenty four hours."

"Why twenty four hours? We'll be up tomorrow by ten and rehearsing, right?"

Molly gave her a skeptical look. "Yeah, you try getting me up after tonight. Not happening."

They stood as their instructor walked in and went to the bar. Rachel stood behind Jenna and Mary who were also talking about the party tonight. Rachel had no idea how Molly had heard about it but apparently it was going to be huge. Some NYU graduate was throwing it and everyone was invited. Rachel was actually terrified.

"Did you know if he's going to be there?" Jenna whispered to Mary.

"Not a clue, but come on. He's got to be there! He would never miss out on a party this huge!"

"Who are you guys talking about?" Rachel asked, trying to sound casual.

Jenna and Mary giggled. "Just the most amazingly attractive guy ever. We've seen him at a couple of parties and tonight we're going to try to actually talk to him."

"Do you guys even know his name?" Rachel asked in spite of herself.

"Noah!" Jenna whispered excitedly. "Oh Rachel, you should see him. He's got these muscles and a mohawk that could just make you fan girl scream."

"I'm sure he does," Rachel said, heart sinking a little.

"Are you and Molly going tonight?" Mary asked.

"We'll see." Rachel took first position for warm ups on the floor next to Molly. "We're not going tonight," Rachel whispered to her.

"Okay, if this is about finals, I'm not listening."

"It's not about finals. I just can't go Molly."

Molly tried to read the expression on her face. There must've been something there because she gasped. "I've seen that face before. And you are still going! I don't care if Puck's going to be there."

"He goes by Noah now." Molly could barely hear Rachel now. Her head was bent, tears threatening to escape her eyes. "He goes to the parties all the time apparently. But as Noah, not Puck."

"And why does that make a difference?" Molly asked but immediately regretted it. This simple question could probably get Rachel to rant for three hours. And she was perfectly capable of it.

But instead all Molly got was a simple, "I don't know."

Molly looked at her in horror. "You don't know? Are you okay?"

Rachel shrugged and spun into the final turn of the warm up routine. Her mind was buzzing. Sure she thought about Noah those first few days of school but then she had started taking in everything she was learning and focused.

She hadn't called things off with Ben because of her feelings for Noah, but she would be lying if she said she didn't think about him during the brief relationship. How she had wanted it be Noah's hand she was holding and his lips she was kissing…

"Rachel?"

Rachel snapped back to class, Molly's hand on her shoulder. She didn't know how but she was on the ground. She looked up at Molly confused. "You lost balance on your last turn."

"Oh," she said quietly. She got to her feet and quickly she whispered to Molly, "I can't go tonight, I can't." If just thinking about Noah did this to her she didn't want to imagine actually seeing him. Looking around she found everyone staring at her. To her relief Miss Walder clapped twice to get everyone focused and continued the lesson. She wasn't entirely off the hook though.

"Miss Berry, stay back for a moment please," she called as Rachel was about to leave. She gave Molly a quick glance, indicating to wait for her and went to her instructor.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I don't know what happened but I know it will never happen again."

"Rachel, breath." Miss Walder put her hands up to stop Rachel's flow of words. "I think I know why it happened."

Rachel looked at her in amazement. "You do?"

"Rachel, you're over working yourself. I see you practicing every night until ten. Are you even looking at your regular studies?"

"Of course I am. Why do you think I have to practice until ten?"

Miss Walder gave a big sigh. "Rachel, you need to relax. It's just finals week. It's not that big a deal."

"Yes they are," Rachel said quickly. "All the teachers can talk about is how important they are!"

"That's for the people who weren't doing work," Miss Walder said sympathetically. "And Rachel, you've done your work."

She could tell Rachel still wasn't satisfied, so she called out, "Molly, come in here."

Molly strode in, confused as Rachel. "Rachel, you have homework tonight. You and Molly are going to that party. And I trust that Molly will tell me if you didn't go."

The grin on Molly's face was huge and she looked determined too. Rachel knew she had no choice now, no matter how nervous Noah made her, no matter how much it could end in disaster.

Molly tugged Rachel out of the studio to a practice one. "Remember, one rehearsal, and then we go get ready."

Rachel sighed with resignation. "Fine," she muttered. But they didn't even need one rehearsal because they did their entire routine perfectly while talking the whole way through it.

"What was with you in class?"

"I don't know what happened. One second I was thinking about Noah and then I'm on the ground. You tell me how that works."

"I can't, because honestly that's one of the weirdest things ever."

"You're not helping! Seriously, what if I run into him tonight?"

"You'll know what to do in the moment I guess. I don't have all life's answers."

"I wish you did."

* * *

><p>"Noah dude, are you coming tonight?"<p>

"Course I am. I never miss a party!"

It was the same talk up and down the dorm hall. The party tonight was supposed to be killer. It was open invite and open bar, kind of. More like open keg and coolers. Even if that stuff wasn't there though, he'd still be going. Tonight was his best chance yet.

Noah had actually been controlling his drinking pretty well this year. He remained sober enough that if the cops showed up he would know to run, and so that the next morning he knew what girls he had met.

Not many of them had been Julliard girls though, and most of them had been juniors or seniors so they didn't know Rachel. After the initial search he went through his usual motions- no hook ups though- but he didn't enjoy it like he did in high school. If it wasn't for her he wouldn't be going to most of these parties. He was determined to find her though.

Just as he was leaving his phone buzzed and he saw he had a text from Molly. He hadn't spoken to her since graduation, and he knew better than to ignore a text from her. All it said though was "See you tonight."

He frantically texted back, asking if she would be with Rachel. By the time he got to the party though, she still hadn't texted back. He did however, after ten minutes of searching, get a text saying here.

That was it, no _I _or _we. _Just here. He pushed his way to the door of the place but she had already gone. He did another lap around the room, but couldn't find her. His heart was pounding. He desperately wanted to find her, even if Rachel wasn't with her. To see Molly would mean hearing about Rachel, and that was more than he had gotten for too long.

Giving up for a moment he bent down to grab a beer from the nearest cooler. It took one second for them to show up and when he stood up he found two very pretty girls standing in front of him. "Hi, do I know you?"

They giggled together, covering their mouths at the same time. If they weren't so pretty Noah might've been freaked out. "No, but we've seen you around, and we wanted to introduce ourselves," the blonde one said. "I'm Jenna."

"And I'm Mary," the brunette finished.

Puck looked around the room one last time, searching for Molly's sweeping brown hair. Failing to find her, he shrugged and decided to enjoy himself.

* * *

><p>Molly scanned the room, but she was too short. There was no mohawk in sight. She forced herself between two guys who were probably wrestlers and found a beer to calm her nerves. She wished beer had the same effect on Rachel as it did on her. She was just following behind Molly looking like a lost puppy.<p>

"Rachel, at least try to look like you're having fun!" Molly shook her vigorously but her expression didn't change. "Okay, I'm going to leave you here," she forced a beer in her hand, "and I'll look for Puck. Don't. Move."

Molly pushed past the wrestlers again and disappeared into the crowd.

* * *

><p>Rachel sat on the edge of the table, looking down at the beer in her hand. This was so stupid. They shouldn't be here. No party Rachel had ever been to had ended well. She got drunk or Molly got drunk, fist fights, or kissing gays.<p>

"How you doing baby?"

Rachel looked up finding one of the two wrestlers from earlier. She felt her cheeks blush and took a sip of beer to avoid talking.

"Are we shy tonight?" he leered, a crooked smile that would've been charming if his face had been farther away from hers.

Rachel managed to find her voice. "Are we drunk tonight?"

"Oh, you're feisty. I can work with that." He came even closer and the beer rolled off his breath.

"Yes but I can't work with you." Rachel tried to shove past him put he was rock solid, like Noah.

He did back away a little though, and his face softened. "Look, I'm sorry. It's true, I've a few too many beers. Give me a chance though."

Rachel rolled her eyes, but when she couldn't see Molly she resigned herself. She took another sip of beer and let the guy talk.

* * *

><p>Noah let Jenna run her hand up his arm but didn't really feel it. He didn't bother talking because her and Mary were keeping up a constant stream. It would've been impressive if it were only one. Rachel would've been able to fill the gaps between them without having to draw breath.<p>

He was still thinking of Rachel when suddenly Mary shouted, "Hi Molly!"

Noah's head snapped up. He didn't believe in seeing angels that crap but Molly was the closest thing to it. He pushed passed Mary and Jenna and grabbed Molly up in a huge bear hug. He couldn't even put into words how happy he was to see her.

Jenna and Mary were looking on in confusion. "Hey guys." Molly gave them a small wave.

"Hi Molly," Jenna said slowly. "You two know each other?"

"We kind of dated for a bit in high school," Molly admitted.

"Is Rachel here?" Noah cut in. He didn't know why hadn't asked the girls if they went to Julliard, but that didn't matter! Molly was here!

"Yeah, I left her with a beer to come find you."

Noah's face dropped. "She's drinking?"

"Yeah, she needed to relax. Why?"

He didn't respond but pushed his way through the crowd. If Rachel was drinking, nothing good could follow.

Suddenly he heard a loud laugh above the people and music and forced his way past a group of NYU wrestlers to find Rachel with her head back, mouth wide open and Tommy pouring a whole bottle in.

Noah didn't think before he shoved Tommy, dropping the bottle behind Rachel's head with a crash. She popped up, still with a smile but it was quickly wiped off her face. "Noah."

His heart stopped for a second, but only a second. She was still beautiful, even with her slightly messed up hair. "Rachel," he breathed out, "what the hell?"

Her face turned a brighter red and tears sprung from her eyes with no warning. It made his heart break for a moment, but what was she doing? She knew what happened when she started drinking, she didn't stop.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?" Tommy was on his feet again. "She was just having some fun." His face softened though as he leaned in towards Noah. "And I'm going to have fun tonight."

Noah could react no other way than to throw a punch scare in Tommy's jaw. He leaned to down to growl, "Don't you ever talk about Rachel that way."

He pushed himself up and found himself face to face with Rachel. Before he could stop her she had her arms around his waist. He couldn't help but hug her back, burying his face in her hair and inhaling deeply; her hair the same strawberry smell it had always been.

Noah pushed her away though. What he had just saw was not his Rachel. It was such a reverse of graduation but he didn't care. If Rachel hadn't been satisfied with him then, he wasn't satisfied with her now.

He wanted to be satisfied. He wanted to so badly. He had always thought that seeing Rachel would be the best thing that would ever happen.

Not anymore.

* * *

><p>Molly knew the second they found Rachel things would be bad. She had left her alone too long. She was already out with at least three empty bottles next to her. The wrestler from earlier was pouring another down her throat, and Rachel was enjoying it.<p>

She had hope though when Puck defended her, nearly knocking out the wrestler. But watching him walk away her heart dropped, but she wouldn't let it end this way. She raced after and grabbed his wrist. He stopped but he wouldn't turn to look at her.

"Don't walk away Puck. This is my fault, and you need her and I know she needs you."

He gave her a small glance over his shoulder. "I know. Tell me when she's back." He tugged out of her grip and disappeared.

Molly had thought getting Puck and Rachel back together would be simple.

Not anymore.

* * *

><p>Rachel watched Noah's retreating back. She pushed herself off the table to chase after him but Tommy grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Hey, where you going?"<p>

"I'm sorry Tommy, but you're not getting any tonight. I'm not that drunk." She yanked her arm out of his grip and tried to push through the crowd but felt arms around her waist.

Prepared to bat away Tommy again Rachel turned to find Molly, shaking her head. "Let him go Rach. For tonight, it's for the best."

She looked back at her in desperation, ready to fight her grip. She felt the arms tighten though, Molly reading her mind.

"Fine," she conceded. She was tired, tipsy, and ready to go to bed. "I told you this was a bad idea."

"No it wasn't," Molly said firmly. Rachel didn't know why, but she decided to believe her.

Rachel had thought she would be able to move past Noah, but after seeing him tonight…

Not anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

Rachel sat in her living room, huddled under a blanket staring at the fire her dads had set. She didn't like this feeling, if you could call it a feeling. Her insides felt hollow and she was so numb she almost felt nothing. Almost.

There was one ache under it all, and she knew exactly why it was there. Her chest felt concaved, collapsed, and everything under it was crushed. She had lost her chance, possibly the last chance she would have.

She had told her dads she was just exhausted from finals week, which was true. She had forced herself to make it through the week, to push the party out of her mind, and it had been exhausting. She'd managed though. She sang and danced perfectly, aced anything written and came out of it feeling relieved.

But then came the emotions she had buried away.

Rachel had been sitting in the same position for nearly six hours, which was saying something because she had gotten home less than twenty-four hours ago. No one had bothered to bug her in her mood, but when her dad poked his head around the corner, she knew that was over.

"Honey, Molly's here." Molly poked her head out behind her dad, looking upset.

Rachel didn't say anything, but buried herself farther into her blanket. Apparently, this was taken as 'come in and sit down' because she heard Molly sit in the chair next to her.

"Rachel, look at me."

She shook her head, moving the blanket around her.

"You know I won't leave until you talk to me."

"Fine, wait. See if I care." Suddenly Rachel felt the blanket fly from her body revealing that she was still in what she had come home in.

"Oh sweetie," Molly said sympathetically. She crossed over to Rachel's chair and brought her into a tight hug, and Rachel let go. Tears flowing, snot running, they sat there together for who knows how long. When Molly finally pulled away silent tears were still rolling down her cheeks.

"What am I going to do?" Rachel whispered.

"I don't know. I just don't know anymore."

Rachel looked up at her, heartbroken. Molly was supposed to be the wise one, the one who could figure anything out, no matter how terrible the situation.

She dropped her head, fresh tears coming. But Molly quickly tipped he head back up. "Listen, I know you two are supposed to happen, it's just not going to be as simple as we thought. Next time, it's going to work. Next time you see him, you'll be sober," she added as an afterthought.

Rachel nodded, if only the satisfy Molly. To be honest, she wasn't very hopeful.

* * *

><p>Noah threw his bags down on his bed. He had come home unwillingly to satisfy his mom and see his brother Jake. If it wasn't for him though, it would've been hard to get him out of New York.<p>

He didn't want to come home to Lima. He was in New York to get away from Lima. Plus, he knew Rachel would be in town. It wasn't that he wanted to avoid her, it's just he didn't want to remember that party, ever again.

It had taken everything to walk away, but he knew that if it all came together in that moment, he would always look back and flinch at the fact that he had punched a guy three seconds before, that he was hitting on two of Rachel's friends a minute before. That Rachel was sitting there drunk.

But on the way home, there had been moments when he thought that that might've been his only chance to make things right. He was slowly accepting the fact that they might never be together.

But he needed to stop thinking about it. That's where Jake came in. He was probably having his own girl problems that he could help him with. High school drama was much easier to deal with.

Just then Jake came in flopping down next to the bags. "So what's up?"

"What do you mean what's up?"

"Dude, you've been home an hour and haven't ran out yet. Something's up."

Noah debated on whether or not to tell Jake. Was it really worth it? Nah. He wasn't taking the chance of crying in front of his bro. "It's nothing man, just tired. What about you?"

"What about me?" Jake smirked at him.

"How's everything with you. Before I left you were sweatin' some chick that was coming into work."

Jake grinned as Noah brought it up. "Nah, she's gone. She was just visiting for the summer. I met some new girls at McKinley. You were right, they are hotter there."

"Yeah? How many have you gone through?" Noah didn't know what he wanted to hear. Ever since Rachel he had regretted almost everything he'd done since ninth grade. He didn't know if he wanted to let his brother learn through his mistakes or stop him now before he hurt someone.

"Only one," Jake said with a smile. "We've been together most of the school year."

Noah stared at his brother in amazement. Just last summer Jake had been hitting on at least seven girls before he'd left for New York.

Jake sat there, waiting for his brother's judgment. "I know you said relationships aren't worth the time and stuff, but right now it feels right. And I'm not saying that it's going to last forever but-"

"Dude, don't defend yourself. You're doing the right thing."

Jake smiled at his approval but then confusion washed over his face. "Wait, are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"What am I saying?"

"That you regret fooling around in high school. That there's someone out there making you wish you could redo everything. Who is she?"

He didn't look at him when he said, "Rachel."

Jake's face cracked into a grin. "Knew it."

Noah's eyes snapped to his brother. "What?"

"I knew it. Dude, you and Rachel were best friends way to long for there to be nothing there. Sophomore year you guys only tapped into it. I knew there was no way that was over."

Noah reached out in desperation to his brother. "You know Rachel. What do I do?"

"Dude, you go for it. It's Rachel. She doesn't like to stay in one place."

"What if I've waited so long she's changed though?" Noah asked, remembering the party.

"Do you still love her?" Jake really didn't beat around the bush.

"Yeah." Neither did Noah.

"Then why does it matter?"

Noah snatched up his keys and was already heading for the door. "When did you get smart kid?"

"My girl's been making go to classes."

Noah smirked at his younger brother. "Thanks bro."

* * *

><p>"Come on Rachel!" Molly begged. "This isn't you! This is not the Rachel that gets off her butt and goes for what she wants! You want Puck, right?"<p>

"He's Noah!" Rachel jumped out of her chair. "He's not Puck! I know that now! If he was Puck, he wouldn't have walked away at that party. He would've been happy to have me there. But he wasn't happy, so he didn't take it. He's my Noah."

Rachel gasped for breath. She hadn't been able to fully admit that yet, but Puck had decided to be Noah.

Her Noah.

"I'll be back." She caught Molly's grin as she raced out of the living room and out the door. Noah's house wasn't far.

She didn't need to run far though because as she raced across her driveway she ran into an old, beat up truck. Rachel didn't need to look in the window to know it was her Noah.

She ran to other side of the truck and opened the door to the passenger seat. Hopping in she couldn't take her eyes off Noah, who couldn't look away from her either. They sat there in silence and Rachel couldn't take it.

She leaned across the empty space and pressed her lips to his. Noah didn't miss a beat, tangling his hand in her hair and pulling her closer. Taking the hint Rachel scooted over to the driver's side and sat in his lap.

Rachel ran her hand down the back of his mohawk, pressing her body as close as she could. Her other hand was running up and down his arm, feeling the muscles she had missed wrapping around her body.

She knew it couldn't last but she still whined a little when Noah pulled away, resting his forehead on hers. "I didn't think you would come for me."

Noah shook his head against hers. "Rachel, I could never stay away from you."

There was still so much left to say, like never drink again and how they were going to see each other in New York with their schedules but for now, they were happy to sit there with their hands on each other's hearts.

Rachel had thought she and Noah were dead, never to be brought back from the grave.

Not anymore.

* * *

><p>Noah felt Rachel's hands shake his truck as they stopped her from banging into it. She looked like a gorgeous mess, looking like she'd just gotten off the plane home. He watched her come around and hop into the passenger seat. For a second he almost brought up the party, but here she was, sober and with very kissable lips.<p>

She read his mind and as she leaned he was prepared. He couldn't stop himself from bringing her body as close to his as possible, feeling her small waist. Her hands were so soft on his arms and the back of his head. But he had to break away, to look at her face.

She whimpered a little which made his heart jump a bit. "I didn't think you would come for me."

He laughed a little. She was insane. Like he could even try to live without her. "Rachel, I could never stay away from you."

He put his hand over her heart, taking in the rhythm of her heart beat. They had more to talk about, but that could wait.

For so long they had been apart.

Not anymore.


End file.
